1/9/23: NP Appointment

Today's appointment was my annual check-in with the Breast Center.

I think it took all of 5 minutes! Maybe 8. Definitely not 10.

I was impressed, again, that my NP had read enough of my file to know that I had switched from Tamoxifen to anastrozole. We talked briefly about that, which led me to mention my oophorectomy in June, which she had not seen in my records, for whatever reason. She said she hadn't ever heard of Lupron not working, and I said my oncologist had given me the same impression, since she had called it "a little weird" and couldn't explain it. 

After going over everything that happened last year, she said she hoped everything else is going well. I said yes, other than getting covid over Christmas! I didn't expound upon my covid illness, I just said I'm better now, and optimistic that my medical situation might finally become stable.

She did a clinical breast exam, and said my double mastectomy scars are healing really well, specifically mentioning that the "dog ears" (the extra skin at the outer ends of each scar) look better, i.e., smaller. I said I do think my scars are less bumpy than before, especially around the dog ears, and she said that probably means there's less scar tissue. She asked if I massage the area, because that would help. I said I don't do it on purpose to help the scars, but my underarms still frequently feel numb and tingly and tight (particularly on the right side), so I do now have this funny habit of rubbing the area any time I'm just sitting around watching TV or using the computer. She joked how my kids are probably like, "Oh, that's just mom, rubbing her armpits again!" Haha. Apparently, though, all that rubbing is good for healing, so great!

I was relieved when she said everything looked fine. I wasn't anticipating any problems, but there's always that small part that is fearful of recurrence. 

She said I'll have one more appointment with her in a year, and then that'll be the end of my 5 years of post-diagnosis follow-ups! I honestly can't believe it's almost been 5 years... It sounds like a long time, but it feels too short because so much has happened and I can't believe my surveillance window is close to ending. Again, I didn't ask what happens after that; I suspect they will cut me loose, and I hope that by the time next year rolls around, I'll feel ready for that step.

Throughout the appointment, I think I spoke very matter-of-factly about everything, which perhaps gave the NP the impression that I accept and understand the whole of my situation. I think I do, and I never really considered that that might be unusual. I can't remember her words verbatim now, but the last thing she said to me was something like, "Well, you definitely have a good attitude, and that's, like, 99% of doing better." I'm assuming she used the "99%" number metaphorically, but I was immediately struck by how much that one sentence echoed the message in the book I just read!