Being Flat (No Reconstruction): Prosthetics and Clothing

I didn't expect to make this post until a bit later. But now that chemo is lurking on the horizon, I expect DMX-related concerns will take a back seat, so I figured I might as well post these thoughts now.

It's taking a while to get used to having a new body, a new image of myself. But each time I see a friend, or go out in public, I gain a little bit of confidence.

Prosthetics

I'm about 4 weeks post-DMX. My chest is still tender, bruised, and numb, and the numbness still extends into my right underarm. It feels weird and uncomfortable placing anything up against my chest, so I haven't worn any prosthetics yet. I'm getting more comfortable in my flatness, but I'm still open to the idea of prosthetics. Anyway, it makes me feel psychologically better knowing I have the option.

Before my surgery, I had read that you shouldn't bother shopping for prosthetics until after recovery, because the shape of your chest may affect the fit and feel of the prosthetics. Since I ended up a bit concave on one side, that advice seems appropriate. Still, even before surgery, I wanted something, even if it wasn't perfect, just in case. Again, it just made me feel less anxious, having them available.

Below are a couple options I found. I have not yet asked my NP for a prescription for contoured, custom-made prosthetics. I know that's an option, but I figure there's no need to spend the time and money (even if it's insurance money) unless I think I will really use them.

• Knitted Knockers - An organization that provides light-weight, knitted prosthetics free of charge to anyone who requests them. I requested a set via their web site a few weeks before surgery. They arrived a week before my surgery date, and I felt better just knowing I had an immediate prosthetic option in case I needed it. (If you or a friend are a knitter, the web site also has knitting patterns available. You'll need to know the patient's bra size.)
• Athleta Empower Mastectomy Bra Inserts - Also available online, these are only $10 for two forms for one side (left or right), so $20 for 2 sets. 

Of course, in order to wear these prosthetics, I needed bras that accommodate inserts. Athleta has a whole line of post-mastectomy bras priced in the $40-60 range. I also realized that a couple of my old bras just happened to have pockets for inserts, so maybe I can still use those, too.

Like I said, I expected to make this post later, and I haven't actually worn any of the forms for any length of time yet, so I really can't comment on their look or feel.

Clothing

Since I'm not wearing prosthetics yet, I definitely need new clothes to wear as a "flattie". Clothes that will fit and flatter my new shape with no bust while not accentuating my "Buddha belly"! Maybe one day I will be comfortable showing off my flatness, but at this point, I'm looking for clothes that will hide it. I have a few items in my closet that I think can still work - especially if I throw a scarf over it - but I really want more options. Generally speaking, I'm looking into ruffles, cowl necks, cardigans, layers, and scarves.

I'm not a fan of shopping, so I renewed my Stitch Fix subscription. About a week before surgery, I re-activated my account to request a fix about 2 weeks after surgery (hoping my drains would be out by then), and I signed up for the most frequent delivery option. (I should have waited more like 3 weeks after surgery for that first fix, because I had a hard time getting shirts on and off over my head!) I entered a note in my "Style Profile" explaining my double mastectomy without reconstruction and how I'm looking for tops that will hide my flatness.

11/22/19 Update: As it turned out, Stitch Fix didn't work out for me. I still appreciate having gone through the process, because it gave me a much better idea of what kinds of clothes work and don't work for me, and what I'm looking for. Another option I ended up trying was Amazon Prime Wardrobe, with which I had a much better success rate. The difference is that Amazon Prime Wardrobe allows you to choose your own items.

The other thing I had to shop for is camisoles. One of the pros of going flat is not needing to wear a bra anymore! But since I still have some swelling in the underarm area, my incisions are still healing, plus the fact that I'm a bit concave on one side, I just feel better wearing something like an undershirt, at least for now. Wearing a camisole prevents clothes from rubbing against my incisions, and it gives the illusion that my chest is nice and smooth.

I bought a variety of camisoles and tank tops from Jockey, a brand I've had good luck with. I got them about 3 weeks post-DMX so I could wear them once I stopped wearing my surgical bra and compression band. I like them all, and they are stretchy enough that I could get them on even without full range of motion in my arms.

• Jockey Supersoft Camisole - Material is thin and lightweight, I can barely feel I'm wearing it; seems the most like an undershirt.
• Jockey Modern Tactel Cami - Slippery smooth; I ordered up a size so it's more loose-fitting and can be worn as a visible layer under another shirt or a cardigan. 
• Jockey Rib Tank - Material is heavier, would make a nice under layer in the winter, or could be worn alone in the summer, if I ever get to the point of being comfortable showing my flatness.
• Jockey Eco-Comfort Tank - Lightweight; runs small and is snug even though I ordered up a size; makes for a good undershirt.