I had a physical therapy appointment scheduled for today. I thought about cancelling it, but didn't, figuring maybe it would be good to think about something else for a while -- even if it's cancer-related.
It felt a little strange to be out in the world with people who don't know about my mother's passing. This observation is somewhat ironic because, ever since I was diagnosed, it felt weird to be out in the world with people who didn't know about my cancer; going to the Cancer Center was always something of a relief because I was surrounded by people who not only knew, but really understood what I was going through.
It's funny how life can be so compartmentalized. This set of people know about you in this way, and that set of people know about you in that way.
As it turned out, it wasn't as compartmentalized as I thought. Going in, I planned to not mention my mom. But during my appointments, when my physical therapist is working on my cording, we usually pass the time talking, and last week I had mentioned that my sister was visiting because my mom wasn't doing so well. So today, being as thoughtful as she is, she asked how my mom is doing. And so I told her, and I cried, and she brought me some tissues. Then she just very naturally talked a bit about when she lost her grandparents, and how her cousin is a funeral director. It was good, and she gave me a big hug before I left.
I really do think that all the people on my medical team, every one of them, are well-suited for their careers. Presumably they are also well-trained, but they always seem to know just how to handle every situation, how to say just the right thing.
Anyway, since today's appointment was in the physical therapist's office, I was properly lying down, and the physical therapist said she could get a better angle on the cording than when I am in an infusion chair. She seemed surprised that I was not in pain at times, because she pushed pretty hard, and I said it's probably just because my underarm is still numb from surgery.
Since my cording continues to persist, she suggested I do my stretches with my arm bent at the elbow, so the cord itself doesn't get pulled when I stretch. She wasn't sure, but thought maybe we can see if it helps if I actually give the cord a break for a while.
She also mentioned that the arm measurements she took last time had my right arm at only 2% bigger than my left, which is within the normal range for a dominant arm. Maybe it was swollen at the time my nurse mentioned it, or maybe not. I'm relieved I don't have to worry about lymphedema after all, at least not now.
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