But it was the right decision. I don't love my new bald head, but it's better than feeling like Gollum. It's the lesser of two undesirable options.
Last night at dinner, we talked with the kids about whether or not I should shave my head. They were both on board with it. They agreed my straggly hair looked pretty bad, and thought a clean shave would be better. They were remarkably unfazed with the final result, nonchalant even!
In the interest of Keeping It Real, I'm setting aside my vanity and posting photos.
Here's what 10 rounds of Taxol did to my hair. So sad.
And here's what little hair I had left.
This is what I look like now. No hair, no boobs, no fun.
I think I look like a Shaolin Monk, minus the orange robe.
It's only you loyal readers of my blog who get this sneak peek. If you see me in person, I'll be wearing my layers and hat.
In fact, just after the shaving, Ken and I pulled ourselves together and headed out to an early evening festive gathering. It was so nice to see supportive faces and receive loving hugs. And it turned out to be a good confidence builder, too, to know I can go out with my covered bald head and feel okay.
Incidentally, a few people have expressed surprise when they see me and I'm wearing glasses. I am wearing them all the time now. After surgery, managing contact lenses just seemed like a bit of extra hassle that I didn't need. And then once I started having vision trouble as a side effect of chemo, I figured maybe I should try to minimize eye irritants, so I've continued to not wear contacts. Maybe I'll go back to wearing contacts at some point, I don't know. We'll see.
Oh, Irene, I can only imagine how painful that was. I think you made a good decision. It's good to be able to take some control. I'm glad you felt brave enough to go out and enjoy your evening with your new look, and it turned out to be positive! I hope you embrace it. I think it looks badass!
ReplyDeleteOh honey I'm so sorry. I can't imagine the heartbreak. But mum and I were sooooo glad to see you and give you hugs.
ReplyDeleteLove you.
oh! what a traumatic moment! I'm so sorry that the hair loss has gotten so bad, but like shan said, taking some control is good, especially since you felt so Gollum-like! You're brave to post photos! I think it'll help others who are going through this as well. You do look pretty good and you're in good company with Shaolin monks, Capt. Picard, and Sinead O'Connor! You are a strong woman, and despite all the external changes, it's your inner soul that matters most in life.
ReplyDeleteHow great that you took charge of what you wanted to do Irene. I find it amazing that you have been so meticulous throughout the process, logging everything and making it easy for others who are going through something similar with themselves or their loved ones. Will you be finished with your cycles by Christmas?
ReplyDeleteRamya