Well, tomorrow's the big day.
I know I complained about the surgery not being earlier, but I think the timing did end up working out well.
I'm so thankful that we were able to keep all our original summer plans. And the two weeks between our last family trip and tomorrow's surgery was just enough time to get everything done, including preparing and freezing a few meals, and school shopping for the kids (clothes, shoes, supplies, EpiPens/Auvi-Qs).
I also seemed to have a kind of nesting instinct, like I wanted to get the whole house in order before my surgery. It's like when we leave on vacation, I try to tidy up because it's so much nicer to come home to a clean house. I just wanted to get everything into a respectable shape beforehand, before I go "off duty".
The only thing that didn't get done at all is gardening, which I haven't tackled since before our trip to North Carolina in July. So our yard (except for the grass, which my husband mows) really is as unkept as it looks. Ha.
I'm feeling alright. It's a bit surreal, but I feel level-headed. Mostly, though, it's weird because I feel like the surgery itself is the Main Event, and then everything after that is still a big question mark, hidden behind a metaphorical curtain. I hope I will feel a sense of relief once the cancer is physically removed from my body. But will the surgeon be able to get all the cancer out? Has it spread? What will my pathology report say? Will I need chemotherapy or radiation? What about hormone therapy? How will my recovery go? What will my scars look like? How will I react to them?! What will it feel like to have no boobs?!?
Well, I'll let you all know how it goes. I've asked Ken to make a blog post after my surgery, to update all you faithful readers as soon as possible. Thank you so much to everyone who is taking the time to read my posts. It really means a lot to me.
Good luck, Irene! You will do great! How are Ken and the kids doing through all of this? I remember feeling really upset, sad, and terrified when I was a kid watching my mom go through it. I remember being sad the day my mom went to surgery and knowing she wouldn't be home that night. I demanded to talk to her on the phone that night, and I did (briefly), but of course she sounded out of it, and that made me upset. As a kid, while I understood some things, I did not fully understand that one would be out of it after surgery. =P
ReplyDeleteThe pro to no boobs is no more bras? It can definitely be cumbersome to take off sports bras sometimes.
Thanks, Rebecca!!
DeleteYes, I have to look for the positives, and no bra is definitely a pro! Also, no yearly mammograms. :P
Aww, it must have been so hard for you as a kid! It's definitely a lot to try to comprehend, even as an adult, so I'm sure it's a lot to take in for kids, too. I think my kids are okay for now... Like they know I'm expecting to spend a night in the hospital, and they know Ken's mom is here to help out because I won't be able to do much after the surgery. They don't seem bothered. :P I mean, I guess it's possible they have a really good handle on it, but I think it's just as likely that they haven't quite fully processed what's going on, and maybe they won't totally "get it" until I'm actually not here for a day, and then I come back and they see I can't do much. Well, like everything else, we'll just have to see how it goes... Crossing my fingers that everything goes smoothly for the whole family!
Good luck Irene! Hope your surgery and recovery all goes smoothly. I’ll be thinking of you.
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